Single Life

A Different way to Serve

As Catholics, we believe that life is about joyfully serving the Lord and our neighbors. Most people are called to do that through a vocation to marriage. Some are called to serve by pursuing a religious vocation.

Others are called to serve as a single person.

Recognizing the dedicated single life is relatively new, so you might not have heard of it spoken about as a vocation before.

Married people are called to care first and foremost for their spouse and children. They are supposed to share everything with their family and put their spouse and children first in their lives. In contrast to that, people called to the single life are able to spread their emotional energy and responsibility out to more people. Single people are more available to help family, friends, and strangers out. Single people are better able to notice folks who are by themselves at church or social events, and make sure they feel noticed, than married people occupied with their families. 

Being Single Doesn’t Mean Being Lonely

For many sociological reasons, Americans have started framing the married state as necessary to human flourishing. The secular world sees marriage as being primarily about fulfilling a universal need for companionship and affection, instead of a specific type of very good relationship among other good relationships. So, many worry that if they lack that married state, they also lack companionship and affection, which clouds their thinking about what vocation God is calling them to. 

If you’ve ever heard someone say “Ack! Ugh! By Jove! I’m going to die alone if I don’t marry by 30!” that’s the assumption they have.

Single people don’t have to be lonelier than anyone else. They can have fulfilling, chaste friendships that meet their needs for companionship. It’s just conjugal activity that is not on the table for them, because God’s plan for sexuality is the creation of life, and that occurs through the married state. There is not a good reason that people automatically associate celibacy with isolation.

Who is Called to a Single Vocation?

Basically, anyone who isn’t called to marriage or a religious life.

This could be people who don’t have the time or ability to raise a family. People who lack an attraction to the opposite sex, or sexual activity in general. People who want extra time to devote to God while pursuing a secular career.

Everyone’s Single in Heaven

“For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry or are given in marriage, but are like angels in Heaven.” Mark 12:25, RSVCE

“For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in Heaven.” Matthew 22:30, RSVCE

Jesus tells us that marriage isn’t really a thing in Heaven.

If it helps you to think about it this way, you could see a vocation to the single life as an opportunity to model what love and friendship will look like in Heaven for everyone else.

Prayer of a Single Person

Eternal God,
from my mother's womb
you have known and loved me
more than I can ever know.

I ask for the courage to live a holy life,
that your hand guide my decisions
and that your mercy be extended
when I seek my own glory instead of yours.

I ask for the wisdom to know your will for me,
and like Our Blessed Mother,
I ask for the strength to say yes.

May I find you in every person I meet, and may my life so shine forth
your goodness and love
that each person may be led to you
through Jesus, your Son,
who is Lord, forever and ever. Amen.